I’m Service-Deformed: The Things You Hate in Clients, You Probably Do Too. LONGRID
be careful, longrid
How many times you were thinking why clients are so sucks/underestimating me/disrespectful/disappearing and aren't you the same?
💔 I’m service-deformed.
A longread, but a lively one. About service. Which basically means: about us.
⏰ Thoughtful reading time: 15 minutes. Yes, in Telegram for Ukrainians was a short version:) https://t.me/+QV_LDo85tsc3YzEy
Anyone who has known me for a while knows how sensitive I am to bad service 🤬
Sales happen at every single stage of communication. The second something feels off, I’m out. I won’t buy, I won’t order, I won’t continue.
I’m extremely client-oriented myself, and yes, I expect the same in return.
Also, I sell very well.
I often say that people buy from people who are like them.
So today I want to raise an interesting but uncomfortable topic:
Your communication mistakes.
Nobody enjoys criticism, but sometimes criticism is exactly the thing that pushes you forward.
Every day I talk to 10-16 teams. I look at their messages, their sales situations, their “what happened???” moments.
And very often they complain about clients ghosting, clients being difficult, clients acting weird.
But then we dig deeper, open the chats, and suddenly it turns out:
they (sales people) do the exact same thing.
There is a Ukrainian proverb: Fisherman sees fisherman from afar.
Salespeople sell best to people just like them.
We all have our little rules, principles and things we’re convinced are obviously correct.
And still, very often, you don’t notice the same behavior in yourself.
So let’s go through the things that genuinely hurt sales: the things I see every day.
1. “He’s not replying.” 🤐
This one is the undefeated champion.
A real-life situation in 9 out of 10 agencies. Go check yourselves.
a. A lead replies. Asks something. Your sales person doesn’t know the answer, goes to ask someone internally, waits, and meanwhile the lead thinks you are not responding.
b. The lead asks for an estimate. You go estimate it. And say nothing while doing it.
He thinks you disappeared. Period.
“But I was quick.”
“But I handled it fast.”
Okay. What is “fast” to you?
Because to me, fast is 5 minutes. What is it to you?
=>
Conclusion: you are not giving a clear next step.
The problem is:
the client has no idea what is happening next.
2. 🐌 “ASAP.” Oh wow. Fantastic. Inspirational.
Point 1 is a loser compared to this.
You wrote “I’ll get back to you ASAP.”
Cool.
Your ASAP means next week.
His ASAP meant yesterday.
And your competitor’s ASAP means:
“Already working on it. I’ll be back in an hour with an estimate.”
Guess who wins?
Not you with your mysterious corporate ASAP.
Meanwhile, in real life, you are pressing the waiter button for the third time in 2 minutes because your coffee is taking too long.
But when a client says, “I need some time to think,” suddenly you don’t understand why they haven’t made a decision in a month!
If you want to sound reliable, say the actual thing:
“I’m checking with the team now and I’ll come back by 3 PM.”
“We’re estimating this today. You’ll have an answer within 2 hours.”
This is how adults communicate. PEriod.
3. ➕➖ “He replies in one-word messages. He clearly doesn’t want to communicate.”
I send him a whole essay.
He replies: okay.
I send 30 messages in one minute.
He replies: yes.
I send another essay.
He replies: sounds good.
And somehow you interpret this as lack of interest.
But maybe .... just maybe .... the lead already gave you all the information, and you are just still burning through your own energy and disturbing him for no reason.
Why do you need to send that message?
Do you have a reason?
Because in sales, we do not do things just because we feel like it.
Also you, in your private life....
get triggered by Instagram store managers writing:
“Hiii dearie 🌸 I’m your caring little manager flower and today I’ll be your cozy kitten assistant and even though you already sent the payment I’ll still tell you about five new sock options 🥰”
4. “They keep rescheduling or canceling calls.” ☎️
Classic.
“He’s weird.”
“She moved the call again.”
“They canceled last minute.”
“Something feels off.”
Also you:
— “We’re running late, can we do tomorrow?”
— “The dev got stuck on another call, can we do 30 minutes later?”
— “Let’s skip the call and maybe do voice notes?”
— “Our CEO can’t make it today, but we’ll send a summary later.”
And no, the issue is not the reschedule itself.
The issue is that every reschedule removes a piece of trust.
To you, it’s “things happen.”
To the lead, it’s:
“If they’re this messy during sales, what will happen after I pay?”
Real-life example:
you book a doctor. They reschedule once. Fine.
Twice? Okay…
Three times?
Now even if the doctor is brilliant, inside you there is already one giant feeling:
nah, I’ll find another one.
So if you do need to move something, you still need to sell the reschedule.
Not “sorry, can’t today.”
But:
“I don’t want to waste your time with a rushed call, so here are two alternative slots for today/tomorrow, and I’m also sending the key points in writing now so you’re not left waiting in silence.”
or
“I found a big data list about your competitors. Could we kindly reschedule so I'll be even better prepared for our call and you also wll get a lot more from it?”
That is completely different.
“Rescheduled” and “managed the process professionally” are not the same thing.
5. “He’s rude. I don’t even want to introduce him to the team.” 😒
You say:
“His tone is off.”
“She sounds cold.”
“He didn’t even say hi.”
“I don’t like the way they write.”
Okay.
Now let’s look at you.
Also you:
— reply with no greeting
— send “send requirements” like a customs officer
— don’t thank people for detailed info
— disappear mid-conversation
— don’t explain delays
— enter the chat with the emotional energy of a tax inspection
....In Ukrainian you use the informal YOU instead of the formal to a stranger.
And then:
“Wow, they’re so cold.”
Maybe they are just mirroring your vibe.
And by the way, rudeness is not only about open aggression.
It’s also this lovely stuff:
not thanking, not warning, not explaining, not closing things properly.
Example:
a client sends you a 4-page brief.
You read it.
Silence.
Six hours later: “got it.”
No babes.
Not “got it.”
That’s not communication, that’s a customer service homicide.
Because politeness in sales is not “dear sir/madam.”
Politeness is when, after your message, the other person does not feel like an inconvenience.
6. “He acts way too smart.” 🧠
“Oh, this client started showing off.”
“He’s trying to teach us how to do our job.”
“He threw in a bunch of terms from Wikipedia.”
“Clearly read something somewhere and now he’s an expert.”
Okay.
Now the drumroll.
Also you.
You, who are so scared of sounding “not expert enough” that instead of answering like a normal human, you write things like:
“Based on the current architecture constraints and considering scalability concerns, we’d recommend re-evaluating the flow before moving into implementation.”
Sweetheart.
He asked why it costs this much and how long it will take.
Some salespeople and founders are so desperate to look smart that they start giving a TED Talk inside a chat window.
And instead of selling, it becomes a competition:
who will suffocate the other person with terminology first.
Example:
Client: “Can you do this in 2 weeks?”
Good answer:
“We can review the scope today and I’ll tell you honestly what fits into 2 weeks and what doesn’t.”
Bad answer:
17 lines about methodology, innovation, uncertainty, frameworks, discovery phases and strategic alignment.
People do not like being talked down to.
And surprise:
clients don’t either.
A smart salesperson is not the one who sounds complicated.
A smart salesperson is the one after whom everything feels clear and safe.
7. “They don’t have money.” 💸
“They have no budget.”
“They’re cheap.”
“They can’t afford it.”
“They want a facebook for five dollars.”
Sometimes yes.
And sometimes they do have money BUT you just failed to explain what exactly they would be paying for.
Because “too expensive” very often does not mean “I have no money.”
It can mean:
— I don’t understand the difference between you and the cheaper option
— I don’t see what exactly I’m getting
— I don’t feel confidence
— I don’t understand why this costs that much
— I’m uncomfortable saying “I’m not ready,” so I’ll just disappear
And here’s the important part: this happens to me too. Constantly. 😅
People reach out, tell me how great I am, how long they’ve been following me, how much they love my content, ask for my consulting price… btw it's public here About me
and then go silent.
And I’m fine with that. Really.
I do not get offended. I’m not sitting in the dark listening to sad music because someone ghosted after hearing my rate.
It’s part of sales. Totally normal.
But do you know what I immediately understand in moments like that?
That this freelancer or agency most likely doesn’t know how to work with value and money on their own side either.
Because if hearing a price makes you disappear,
if you can’t say, “Thanks, it’s not in my budget right now,”
if you vanish after asking for the number even though you were enthusiastic five minutes ago - then there is a very good chance you do similar things with your own clients.
A person who knows how to deal with money normally can still say:
“Thank you, it’s outside my budget right now.”
“I need some time to think.”
“Not ready at the moment, maybe later.”
Instead of disappearing like the price personally attacked them:)
So aren't you the same?
8. “I looked them up online and decided not to reply.” 🕵️♀️
“I googled him, seems sketchy.”
“LinkedIn is empty.”
“The website looks bad.”
“No Instagram.”
“The company is unclear.”
“I couldn’t really find anything about them.”
Sometimes a red flag is a red flag. Sure.
But sometimes you just really enjoy delivering a verdict after 12 seconds of research.
And the funniest part?
Also you.
Do you have a proper page?
Maybe you do, but you haven’t touched it since the dinosaur era.
No company website.
Half-dead LinkedIn.
Your last post went live when the dollar was 27.
Your Instagram has three stories, two of them are about your dog, and none explain what you actually do.
On Upwork you’re “top-tier full-cycle experts,” but on Google you barely exist in larval form.
And then you go:
“Hmm, the client seems unclear, I couldn’t find much about them.”
Hello?
But let’s be honest: if you yourself look online like someone who accidentally started a company yesterday, then maybe in between “check them online” and “ignore them forever,” there should be one more step:
ask a couple of normal questions with your MOUTH.
9. “They don’t respect personal boundaries.” 🚪
Oh, this one hurts.
“They texted on the weekend.”
“They pinged me in the morning and in the evening.”
“They wanted it urgently.”
“They also messaged me on Telegram.”
“They sent six voice notes.”
“They asked if I’m there????”
Also you:
— send the fourth follow-up in two days
— write “just checking in” before the person even had time to breathe
— after “I need to think,” message the next day with “any updates?”
— push for a call when they clearly said text is easier
— send your calendar link without even checking if that format works for them
And this is the funniest part:
when someone pressures you, it’s a boundary issue.
When you pressure them, it’s “I’m proactively moving the deal.”
No, darling.
Example:
you walk into a store “just to look.”
Within 40 seconds, three people ask:
— can I help you?
— are you looking for something specific?
— is it for you or as a gift?
— maybe let me show you another option?
At that point you don’t want the product anymore.
You want the exit.
10. “They don’t want to compromise / leave a review / record a video / even change the title.” 🙃
“I asked for a review - they didn’t leave one.”
“We asked for a short video - they avoided it.”
“They wouldn’t even approve a better title.”
“They don’t want to help after the project.”
Yes, annoying.
But let’s be honest:
how often do you easily agree to small extra things when it’s not very convenient for you?
a client asks to slightly change the color
or swap an icon
or tweak one small thing
and there you are, standing proudly in your full professional pose:
“Well, that wasn’t part of the agreement.”
Formally? Maybe true.
Funny? Also true.
Because when you need an extra five minutes from a client for a review, a video, a testimonial, a better title — suddenly it’s:
“It’s such a small thing.”
“It’ll only take a minute.”
“Come on, it’s easy.”
But when they ask for a small thing, it becomes:
— this is new scope
— this is separate billing
— this wasn’t included
— we agreed on a different volume
And your reaction to their tiny requests is often built exactly the same way.
Not because you’re evil.
Just because your own inconvenience always feels heavier than someone else’s.
So if you want flexibility, loyalty, and “sure, I can do that” from the client, check whether that exists on your side too.
11. “We’re just not their priority.” 🔥
And is everything a priority on your side?
Have you raised the priority enough?
P.S. When was the last time you had a medical check-up?
We were just talking about this in TRС. This is one of the principles of sales:
if you’re not selling a basic need, then you have to sell priority.
For example, do you know what else is not a priority for you?
Fiverr.
Because Upwork is working just fine. Fast, lots of leads.
Spend extra time on one more platform?
Well, maybe only if Upwork dies or I get banned...
Deformed? 💔
And what if by then it’s already too late?
If you are Ukrainian, you even can sign for a free Fiverr webinar for 31.03
If you are not, check out my article here Fiverr vs Upwork Project Catalog
I don't know how you were able to read all that. I was writing it for three days😄
Coffee? https://buymeacoffee.com/levit
Telegram for Ukrainians https://t.me/+QV_LDo85tsc3YzEy
Hugs,
Tamara